Friday, August 27, 2010

Today was the day I was supposed to spend all day on the couch

But I didn't. I once again, for the fifth day in a row of my vacation, spent it sitting in front of my computer doing work... which is great because next week... I go back to work. I wish I was one of those people who could write in their blog that they wished they could get off their lazy asses and do something- but unfortunately, I always seem to be doing something. The problem is- I'm always doing it ON my ass.

I must run. I repeat this everyday to myself. It rarely happens these days. It makes me sad. If I get out three times a week it is a good week. I used to consider myself a runner. I have downgraded myself to a jogger. A casual exerciser.

Then I went for my dress fitting. I was told that the only way I'd look any better in the dress was if I, myself, looked better in the dress. The seamstress looked me in the eye and said, "You just need to loose 10lbs." I felt like I was in Zoolander and Mugatu was yelling at me, "Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!"

So, I am now leaving my computer- I completely blame it on my new MacBook Pro that is so beautiful that typing on it is like stroking God- and going for a run.

In the rain. It just started raining. What?!

Ok. I have a theory. Running in the rain doubles your miles. Yep. When you're out running in the rain and people see you they think, "Man, that person is really dedicated." and therefore the extra karma points you get on that doubles the miles...

And with that thought- here I go.

Nuptual Culture-Clash Part Deux

Continuing on...

And both the stag do and the Best Man's speech are all things done to the groom- not done by the groom. Except for the 'Groom's speech'.

Oh! hold back, ladies! He has to say something! This part of the wedding celebration does not fall into the category "secretly-loved-by-the-groom". Unlike the previously mentioned events, this one is dreaded by all British grooms from John O'Groats to Land's End. The reason for this is, paradoxically, the all-consuming wish to not be the center of attention.

I think this dread is shared by Best Men and their speech duty as well but the dread is trumped by the man-love code which I guess is stronger than love-for-your-future -wife code. I have been told that the groom's speech will be as short as politely possible. Maybe I'll get a fist-bump at the end?

The dread of being the center of attention is strangely at odds with the stag do (an entire weekend planned in the groom's honour) and the fact the best man's speech is entirely focused on him, but in the end, the groom accepts no responsibility for either act and therefore secretly loves them.

Where as, it seems, the bride must accept full responsibility for everything else. And therefore I secretly hate my wedding.

In another life, if I'm good enough, I'll come back as a British Groom.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Nuptual Culture-Clash

We both speak the same language (arguable, I know and a whole topic unto itself). We are both middle-class with relatively small extended families. We share a religion, political leanings and comedic tastes (minus his funny bone for all things dealing with flatulence) So, what went wrong shortly thereafter "Yes"?

He is British and I am American. That is what went wrong.

We are neither like the couples in the film "Confetti" nor any of those embarrasing couples glorified on youtube with choreographed bridal party dances. But I have been raised looking at pictures of overly-tanned, under-fed and draped in meringue brides who are flanked by eight bridesmaids on each side all wearing some jeweled-coloured dress with shoes dyed to match.

He, on the other hand, has grow up watching Four Weddings and Funeral and simultaneously revering and fearing the 'Stag Do' and 'Best Man's Speech'. Those two events effectively sum up an Englishman's wedding. Everything else is just done with a stiff upper-lip and all that. pip. pip.

To be continued...

A Year and a Half Later in The Domestic

As I am encouraging my students to have their own 'learning blogs' I feel that I should set a good example and get back into writing my own blog. It's been quite a ride since my last post. I've been out of Africa for two years and I haven't looked back.

One three-year highly-skilled migrant visa stamped into my passport
Two teaching certifications in the US and the UK
One M.Ed in Secondary Education
One new curriculum (A Levels)
Two new subjects (Film and Media)
and
One new job as Head of Department of previously mentioned curriculum and subject.

And I got engaged.

While the former list consumed most of my hours. It's the last item that has consumed my head and heart. Another human being has chosen me- from all the other humans on the earth- to be the love of his life! Mr. Paul Anthony King has chosen me! I am such a lucky girl. And of course... I have chosen him back... but he asked first. :)

Ah, a wedding to plan. (or rather a wedding that is being planned) My friend, Jo, told me shortly after he popped the question, "You were born to plan a wedding" and at the time I completely agreed with her- until I realized that, yes, I was born to plan weddings- just not my own.

Here is a bit of advice for the high maintenance bride who does not think she is a high maintenance bride. You are this person if, in the event of a fire, you would grab your planner, your mac, and your sketchbooks before anything else in the house.

Get married no more than 6 months after you get that ring!

You will drive yourself crazy otherwise. The bliss of the glossy magazines wears off after two months, the fun of finding 'The Dress' lasts only a few trips. You'll discover your fiance will only help make decisions if they are imminent and we all know you can make a Chinese dragon costume out of some tin foil and pipe cleaners so save yourself the annoyance of calligraphers, stationers or florists and get thee to Hobby Lobby! You'll do it better yourself anyways.